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Semenal Moments™️

Can't find a man but still want a baby?


Approaching 40, but still unlucky in love?


Husband has low T, a small dick, and medically no sperm?


Or do you just want a bunch of semen squirted up in there? Just to see what happens.


If you answered yes to any or all of the above, then we've got you covered.


With Semenal Moments ™️, you'll get a proprietary blend of the thickest, whitest, and whitest semen money can buy.


Do you want a 1 in 3 chance of a Jew baby, but with honest to goodness plausible deniability?


Do you want a 1 in 6 chance of having a Surgeon, with less than a 17% chance of Ken?


Girl, do we have the product for you!


Our donors have been ejaculating for decades, so you know they're good. And one of them has 30x the average volume of sperm, so yeah, that 1 in 3 Jew number is probably a little low.


Do you want an Irishman? Maybe you'll get one.


Do you want a CEO? Might happen.


What about a little Jew boy? It's likely.


Not interested in any Kens? Me neither.


At Semenal Moments ™️, 6 best friends jizz in the same cup. After each load is carefully blown, its quickly packaged and shipped to the next donor, allowing for a series of expedient semen transfers down the eastern seabord before the cup arrives at its final destination: your vagina.


Each Cup O' Semen ™️ comes with an official Semenal Moments™️ applicator, which my Uncle Steve™️ used last Thanksgiving on the turkey. This ensures quality.


We're so confident you'll enjoy Semenal Moments™️, we offer you, our customer, a no questions asked, 100% money back guarantee. If you're not testing pregnant within 2 weeks of application, just send the semen back for a full refund. We'll throw it in the river.


For more information call 1-900-736-3525


Disclaimer: Some of the semen in Semenal Moments™️ does come from Ken. But from what we can tell, it's mostly just flame retardant in there. So if anything, the baby will come out fireproof.

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