It's shocking how dumb you are  Shocking. I don't know how you got through engine school. I know I'm a bit dumber than everyone else in the group -  Factor excluded - but Jesus, Ken, you're like a full standard deviation dumber.

Sometimes I feel bad for bringing you into the group. Would we be stronger without you? Closer? Would we already live on the ranch?

These are questions we'll never be able to answer. The die has been cast. You are part of We Are Friends and Ken.

So we move on, accepting you as one of our own. Sure, we mock you. Relentlessly. And sure we keep you out of basically every loop.

But that's why you're here!

We already have the weird one, the drunk one, the caustic one, the other drunk one, and the drunken doctor. Your role is punching bag.

The problem is, in today's society, it's frowned upon to punch down. But WAF DGAF. We snap on our gloves, strap on our strap ons, and get pounding.

But why the website? Why this whole, unnecessary thing? Isn't this weekend about Hamlin, our fallen brother in arms?

I'll tell you why Ken. It's because Laura and I bought a house, a literal year ago, and this is how I'm telling you.

You should come hang out tomorrow. Bring the fam. We'll make a day of it.